Maybe Jealousy Isn't The Villain. You Are.

Jealousy is always the initial feeling we develop when comparing ourselves with others.

And we were raised with the knowledge that any kind of jealousy is bad.

But I have stopped agreeing with this opinion some time ago.

Jealousy is human, but it is what we do after experiencing it that counts.

Sometimes we begin to hate a person for no reason other than his/her existence. Sometimes, we hate ourselves for failing to be as good as them.

Both are results of our actions, and not jealousy.

One little trick I came up with is giving a compliment in my head to anyone I feel envious of. And quite often, I express it verbally.

This helps me realize I don't dislike that person.

I am simply making comparisons with their lives.

Much more difficult, however, is understanding that I shouldn't hate myself for those comparisons.

And I am still developing this aspect.

What I have been practicing recently is building a relationship with myself as I do with my friends.

If I had a friend who was insulting himself/herself all the time, I would tell him/her he/she doesn't deserve that treatment.

Especially not by themselves.

For some reason, many of us have conversations with ourselves where we say things that we'd never say to any other person on earth.

Maybe that's self-love.

Not believing that you are the best version of yourself.

Or that you're always confident.

No.

It's hearing your voice the way you would listen to anyone else.

Perhaps comparisons can never be totally eradicated.

But perhaps our goal isn't to do away with envy.

Our goal might just be figuring out how not to let it become self-loathing.